I’ve always been intrigued by the scripture in Matthew 7:21-23. Perhaps it has caught your attention too.
Not everyone that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven
Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils, and in they name done many wonderful works?
And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.
As a child I was determined to be good. I wanted to do what was right. I wanted to go to church and keep the commandments as I then understood them. I tried to be of help to others. I tried not to fight with my brothers and sisters. I tried to keep my room clean and do the chores my mother assigned to me the way she wanted them done.
I wasn’t perfect. None of us ever are. That’s part of why Jesus came. To help us be better. To set a good example for us to follow. He invited us all to “Come, follow me,” (Matthew 4:19) to “Take up your cross and follow me,” (Matthew 16:24-25) and to “live by every word that proceedeth forth from the mouth of God,” (Matthew 4:4) because that’s what He did.
Jesus also came to save us from the effects of our sins – the times when we haven’t followed so well. He is our Redeemer, and the price He paid to redeem us was to suffer in the Garden of Gethsemane to take upon Himself the effects of our sins and then to lay down His life for us on the cross.
So, in that sense, I think we can confidently say that He knows us. He knows we need a Redeemer. We all do. He knows our weaknesses. He knows when we don’t keep the commandments. He knows because He has already paid the price for those things so that we don’t have to if we repent.
But when it comes down to day-to-day living, does He know what is happening? With billions of people on the earth, is it really possible for Him to look down upon the world and to see one person and what their day was like? Does He know the traumatic things that have happened to us and how they have affected us? Or does He just know the big things we do right or wrong so that He can pass righteous judgment upon us at some point after we die?
I don’t know that I have ever asked Him how aware He is of me and the everyday things that go on in my life. At least I can’t remember asking Him that question. What I do know is that He is aware of the things I choose to pray about, good or bad. And He is aware of your prayers too. (I think that’s why prayer has been so important to me and why it is so important to many of us.)
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About 18 months ago while worshipping in the House of the Lord, I had an experience that I would like to share with you because it answered my unasked question about did Jesus really know me, and did He know what I was going through.
My husband and I had the tragic experience of being hacked and dealing with the aftermath. We had to have our computers fixed, our phone numbers changed, update all our passwords, and even close and open new bank accounts. The process of cleaning up the resulting mess had been excruciating. Days and weeks went by before we felt like we might have plugged up any holes in our armor.
I had been worrying quite a lot, but because this was such a temporal problem I felt silly about taking it to the Lord. After all, doesn’t He have more important things to worry about than whether someone can access my bank account?
And then one day I went to the House of the Lord to find some peace. I desperately needed peace.
As I sat there in the quiet, pondering but not praying over the recent events, I was surprised to hear the still small voice. And the words He spoke were powerful. “They can never take your eternal identity. . . I know you . . . and I know the promises I have made to you.”
It was like time stood still.
I am unsure how long I sat there in astonishment at those words. Every one of them carried deep meaning. I have an eternal identity. Not just an identity as a mortal. Not just a name and a social security number. I am more than this. I have an eternal identity as a child of God. And no hacker – or anyone else – can ever take that away from me.
This was something I had known as a child. And it is what carried me through the trauma I experienced and what has carried me through every difficult moment of my life.
And yet there was more.
“I know you.” When those words came, my mind immediately went to the scripture in Matthew that I shared earlier. My whole life, I had been doing all I could to keep His commandments and to do what was right. And I had wondered if He knew. And now I did know. I wasn’t perfect by a long shot, but somehow, I merited His attention enough that He knew the thoughts and the intents of my heart. He knew that I wanted to be good. He knew that I was honestly trying to be good.
And yet there was still more.
In speaking these words, He had very concisely let me know that He was not only aware but also knew about the hacking and that my identity–my worldly identity–was at risk of being stolen. He knew about the stress I had been under. And He was there to provide comfort by telling me that no matter what others might do to try to hurt me, He still was aware of me, He knew me through and through, and no one could ever take that away from me.
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I don’t know if you, like me, have been following The Chosen. But if you haven’t, I want to recommend it to you. Although it is historical fiction – based upon the New Testament accounts of the life and ministry of Jesus and His followers – there are times that even the fictionalized parts that flesh out the characters and their interactions with each other seem very real to me.
And Jonathan Roumie, who portrays Jesus, has done a beautiful job. So much so that when life gets hard and I long for just a few minutes with Jesus, I turn on one of the episodes of The Chosen and it feels like I am there with Jesus.
Several of the episodes have resonated deeply with me for various reasons. But there is an episode in Season 4 which was recently released that was so powerful in conveying that Jesus knows us and the traumatic things we have experienced that I have watched it many times.
In this episode, both Matthew and Peter go to Jesus individually to let Him know how hard things have been. Matthew shares how hard things have been for him because of the harsh way that Peter has treated him due to his former occupation as a tax collector. He doesn’t understand why Peter is favored by the Lord, or why He gave him a new name. Doesn’t Jesus know how Peter has treated Matthew? And if he does, why has such favor been bestowed on him?
Jesus’ answer is simple. He says something like, “Have you ever considered who wronged the other first?”
In that moment, Matthew is stunned as he reflects on the tax debt Peter (then Simon) owed, and how Matthew treated him because of that debt. It isn’t as Matthew has been thinking. Peter does have very valid reasons for not treating Matthew well. And then Jesus encourages him to apologize to Peter for how Matthew treated him.
The counsel is hard to swallow, and it takes a little time for Matthew to get up the courage to go and apologize. The apology is heartfelt . . . but rejected.
Peter storms away in anger and eventually goes to Jesus to complain about how Matthew has come to him to apologize. He wants to know how that simple apology is supposed to make up for the trauma that Matthew caused him. After all, he almost lost his business, his livelihood. He could have gone to prison. And then where would Peter’s wife have been? She would have been left destitute, with no means to provide for herself. Is this an offense that Peter should forgive just based on a verbal expression of apology?
And then came the moment in this episode which struck me with such force that I gasped and had to pause the video. Jesus simply asked Peter to consider what happened the next morning.
As Peter’s mind reflected on that question, he remembered that he had gone out fishing on the Sabbath and all night to try to bring in enough fish to pay his tax debt so that he wouldn’t lose his livelihood or go to prison. And he caught no fish. He was desperate. He felt completely alone. His life was teetering on the brink of destruction.
But the next morning . . . Jesus came. And he counseled Peter to cast the net on the other side of the boat.
And as Peter obeyed that simple suggestion, the net was full to overflowing, providing more fish than he needed to pay his tax debt. The Lord made paying that debt possible. It wasn’t Peter.
The Lord interceded and made the difference.
And He made the difference because He knew and because He loved Peter. He knew how hard Peter was trying to make things right.
As the episode continues, Peter suddenly realizes there is no reason to hold a grudge against Matthew for doing his job as a tax collector. Did he make it tough on Peter? No doubt. Was Peter traumatized by the threats and the thoughts of how drastically his life would change if the tax debt wasn’t paid? Absolutely.
But Jesus intervened. And because He did, it was all made right.
That was when I hit the pause button.
You see, into my mind came flooding all the times in my life when things have been tough and then resolved by some unexpected, sometimes even miraculous, thing. And as time after time came to mind, I could see that Jesus had been there for me every time.
He not only knew about the threat of my identity being stolen. He knew about many things. Like the time I was wrongly accused of committing adultery, and the time I was jilted by the man who said he wanted to marry me. He knew about the time I had my car insurance canceled and faced quadrupled premium hikes because I forgot to pay the bill. He also knew about the time I was so overwhelmed at work that I sobbed in the bathroom and wished I could quit.
He knows everything about me. Everything about my life. Everything about my day-to-day experiences, and as He is watching it all unfold, He is there creating paths of escape, places of refuge, and bringing peace and solace.
Yes, He knows me. I know that now better than I ever have. And because I know it, I want to shout from the housetops that He knows you too! He has been there in your darkest moments and your most difficult days. And because He was there, He can see what you went through from perspectives you have never considered.
And when you’re ready, when you come to Him and ask, “Lord don’t you know that such and such hurt me?” He will let you know that He does know. And then He will show you what He did to help you that you perhaps never comprehended. He was there when you couldn’t see Him, working for your good and hoping you would be blessed by His efforts.
I have learned that it isn’t so much about Him not knowing us. He knows us. It is more about this: Do we know Him? Do we understand how much He loves us and how often He is there by our side cheering us on when we do well, and comforting us when we’re low? Do we see His hand in our lives every day, every hour?
He is there, and He does know us. And if we come to Him, He is willing to let us know Him too.